Homehttps://server7.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/smyrwpoii/p2/Healthhttps://server7.kproxy.com/servlet/redirect.srv/sruj/smyrwpoii/p2/They had abortions late in their pregnancies. These are their stories
They had abortions late in their pregnancies. These are their stories
Women who have had abortions later in their pregnancies are "tied in a sisterhood through a club that would never ever be part of," a woman said.
We also talked to young women who felt desperate, alone, frightened and misled. One had been told that she could not become pregnant due to various health conditions, including missing periods. Then she unconsciously visited a faith-based pregnancy center in the hope of getting abortion. They told her she was not as far as she was, which made a miscarriage more complicated.
A normal pregnancy lasts approx. 40 weeks. Ca. Two-thirds of abortions occur within eight weeks, and nearly all ̵
1; more than 91% – occur within 13 weeks, reports to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Another 8% happens at the latest or before 20 weeks.
According to the professional organization of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, abortion after 21 weeks accounts for "slightly more than 1 percent of all abortions occurring in the United States." Abortions later in the second trimester are "very rare" and third-trimester abortions are "less frequent".
As many states impose abortion limits on pregnancy and deny insurance coverage for termination of pregnancy, women who abort later in their pregnancies have few opportunities. They often have to travel and add to the expense of what can be a disproportionately expensive procedure.
A woman said she feels punished – once again – for the loss of her son every time she does it monthly loans on the thousands of dollars she borrowed to interrupt him. It was a decision she felt she had no choice but to make; The boy in the stomach lacked several organs and would never have survived.
Some women insist on being named, refusing to hide. Others will only use first names or pseudonyms, fear backlash at a time when people seem to hate faster than listening.
But by sharing their stories, these women – some mentioned above – hope others to emphasize below – hope they can humanize a topic that is being discussed hotly and they say seriously misunderstood.
She had to choose how her daughter would die
When people asks how many children she has, Dana Weinstein tells them she has three living children. This is because the daughter she lost 9½ years ago remains a part of her.
] She was happily married, mother of a 2- year old boy and excited to be pregnant again. She read stories and wrote a diary to the child and she relished as her son rolled her toy cars over her growing stomach. Because she was over 35 and in "advanced maternity age," she said her care included additional sonograms later in pregnancy.
When she and her husband entered one in 29 weeks, they were told that the ventricles or cavity in their child's brain was larger than normal, she said. The doctor and technician said they weren't "outrageously bigger", Weinstein recalled, so she didn't worry. They could handle whatever this was, she and her husband justified. Plus, everything else about their baby was perfect.
Still, she was sent to Children's National in Washington for further testing. Weinstein, who lives in Rockville, Maryland, was 31 weeks, well into her third trimester when they got an appointment. Then came the gut stem.
It is difficult to spell words for brain abnormalities that their baby had: agenesis of corpus callosum and polymicrogyria. In simpler terms that Weinstein described it, a particular MRI showed that the child did not have that part of the brain that connects the right and left hemispheres. And where a healthy brain "looks like a cauliflower," she said, their child's brain had concave areas and "empty pockets."
"What does this mean? What does it mean?" she asked before being whipped out to specialists who could explain.
Doctors expected their baby not to suck or swallow, Weinstein reminded. They said she was likely to suffer from uncontrollable births at birth, and because of that, a resuscitation order would be needed. As long as she lived, the doctors predicted that their baby would require medical intervention.
And as Weinstein understood, she had no mental ability to dream, love or enjoy life.
Her question came quickly. Couldn't rehab help? What if they took stem cells from her son's umbilical cord blood that she had beaten? Maybe they could regrow what the daughter needed?
Their child's brain was destined to be that way from the start, experts said. It could not have been registered earlier and would not improve. They could never have seen it coming. The many doctors she examined looked for hope, told her the same.
"It's just a fly," Weinstein said. "In principle, anyone who could get pregnant can be that fluke."
They heard what a revival order would bring. They listened to what an existence, short life or otherwise, would look like. They were informed about hospice care.
Initially, no one talked about the possibility of abortion so late in pregnancy. Weinstein believes that this was partly because the doctor referred by the hospital to rare patients like her earlier, Dr. George Tiller of Wichita, Kansas, was murdered by an extremist week earlier abortion.
She could carry the child for six weeks and deliver it, she was told. But the prolonged nightmare she lived in, she said, one where they had to choose how their daughter would die. She worried about what their choice would do for their son, their family, their marriage.
The endless kicks in Weinstein's stomach, The persistent movements that had given her so much joy became unbearable. She feared that the child simply grabbed and even worse than suffered. She fell apart and couldn't sleep. While proudly wearing cute maternity clothes to show off her bump, she was now hiding in her husband's clothing. She feared the well-meaning question from strangers – "When should you?" – and refused to leave the house.
"This pain in every moment, until I could finish his pain, was just awful," Weinstein said. Together with her husband, they decided to get abortion. For this baby she loved, she said, it felt like the "more peaceful way to her transient."
She had to fly all over the country to Colorado to get the procedure. She felt lucky to have supportive parents who could charge the $ 17,500 abortion charge on their credit card. She traveled with her husband, her mother, and her son to help him stay in the hotel.
The doctor used a sonogram to find the child's heart. He gave Weinstein an injection through his stomach to stop beating it. She felt her daughter last move before she died. A few days later, the day that marked her 32nd week of pregnancy, she delivered their deceased baby.
"I'm not going to talk through that part of it," said Weinstein, who remained calm on the phone but predicted she would break down just after we hung up. "But I would like to say that it was not a baby being torn to the limb. I delivered an outwardly beautiful baby."
Now 47, she and her husband continued with two healthy daughters. The first, now 8, refers to Weinstein as his "rainbow family".
"We call her that," she said, "because after a storm, what is more beautiful than a rainbow?"
End his pregnancy rescued his life
The swelling was the first sign that something was wrong. It turned out in her hands and feet. She struggled to push into shoes.
Susan angry open her "What to Expect When Expecting" book and turned to the section that outlined when to call a doctor. Her kind of swelling and sudden weight gain – she would put 11 pounds in a week – made the list.
She asked her husband in just over a year, a doctor, if he thought she was OK. He told her she was beautiful, first thought she was self-conscious and worried she was fat.
He wasn't an observer so she called her.
"Have your husband take your blood pressure just when he is capable of it." The doctor advised.
On his way to dinner in Berkeley, California, he suggested that they turn around in his office first.
Her blood pressure "was out of the charts," remember Susan 30 years later. Her husband called the obstetrician who asked if he had any urine specimen that was practical. He did, and they showed that Susan's protein levels were dangerously high, indicating a problem with the kidneys.
"Go straight to the hospital," ordered the obstetrician.
Susan was first bent. She felt fine, just swollen. Plus, she was hungry.
"Can't we go for dinner first?" She asked before they ran out of the door.
She remained in denial as long as she could. Doctors were worried about her blood pressure, but she wasn't. They said the kidneys shut down, but it didn't register. Instead, she focused on the ultrasound they took, which revealed the child's gender.
She looked with excitement at her husband.
"Oh my goodness, we must have a boy!" she said. "Are you not happy?"
His face was cloudy, she remembered. "He knew this wasn't so good."
She was 24 weeks old and had severe pre-eclampsia. The doctors said she was having a stroke.
"It's as if you're being poisoned by pregnancy," she said, explaining her condition. "And the only way to heal is to be pregnant."
The fetus was behind in its development and not where it should be in 24 weeks.
It "needs at least two weeks to be equally minimally viable, and you just don't have two weeks," the doctors told her. "You don't have two days."
Still, she tried to negotiate an agreement. She was a physiotherapist. She could rehab after a stroke, she told them. She could rehab their baby. She wanted to deliver it, if not vaginally, then by C-section. They said her body couldn't resist either.
They promised her that the fetus would not feel any pain before stopping its heartbeat. Then, they put Susan under to perform the dilatation and evacuation procedure where the cervix is dilated and the uterine contents are extracted.
Her abortion was a necessity and felt like "such a choice without choice," said Susan 59, who later had two daughters.
It wasn't what she wanted. That was what she needed to live.
Her biological mother surrendered her. She refused to do the same.
She was 19 years old and lived with a host family in Florida when she learned she was pregnant.
"Katherine", not her real name, was in the US on a student visa. She is from Honduras, who has a total ban on abortion and became pregnant during the summer while visiting home.
However, she was confused. The older man she had dated in Honduras bought a Plan B pill on the black market, she said and told her to take it. She didn't know what it was or how it worked. When she didn't get her period, she assumed that her hormones were not so shocking because of the strange pill.
After a few months back in the US, the body felt and looked different. The home pregnancy test she bought at Walmart was positive, but she was sticking to the movie lotlines she had seen where the tests came back with false results.
When father in her host family asked if she was pregnant, she said, "No! Why do you ask?"
She was horrific and did not know where to turn. She told the man she had dated in Honduras that she was pregnant, "but he was not supportive," she said. "He said," I don't care. ""
She would not disappoint her family home. If her Florida host family learned the truth, she feared they would send her back. Katherine had dreams, she said, who was dependent on college.
She could hardly concentrate on her final exams: "It was the worst semester of my life," she said – and then she moved to Texas to transfer to a new school.
In Lone Star State, she felt even more alone. She said she didn't know anyone. At the end of January 2016, she had clarity: she couldn't get this baby.
She remembered hearing about a man in her Honduras neighborhood, secretly performing abortion, but she couldn't figure out who he was. She learned that abortions were legal in the US, but worried she could never afford. Then she began searching for opportunities in Texas and found a place near where she lived. Even better when she rang, she was promised a free pregnancy test and ultrasound.
The clinic first made her see a video. It was about God, adoption and parents, she remembered. It highlighted women who shared testimony of the abortions they regretted. Katherine looked at but didn't understand their sadness. She unknowingly went into a faith-based clinic that did not give abortion. She sat through the video she didn't buy because she said, "I just wanted help."
The ultrasound showed that she was 30 weeks longer than expected.
"There is a place where they can pay you for college and you can stay there to get the baby," Katherine recalled a woman at the clinic told her.
Maybe it was an opportunity, she thought, but that was not what she wanted. She would only bring a baby into the world if it had its parents, both. She was not ready to raise a child. And drove her as much as anything: She refused to be like her own biological mother who surrendered her to the hospital after she was born.
"It is not the point of my life and repeats the same story," she said. "I didn't want my baby to feel the same as I feel. I'm 23 and I'm still asking these questions what happened."