DEAR AMY: I have wonderful father-in-law.
After the birth of our first child in March, they have come out of the state to stay with us a few times. However, I have a problem, I really have no idea how to approach.
My father-in-law continues this year, and it seems he doesn't have the ability to get to the toilet reliably when he urinates. 19659004] Amy, I understand that aging comes with all its indignities, but is it too much to expect to sit down to the pussy?
Ideally he would realize the problem and have the decency not to pee on our bathroom floor. But of course that is not the case.
Although I am a woman, I also guess that there may be quite a few underlying psychology things that happen when a man is no longer able to stand up to piss.
The bottom line is: I have no time or energy to clean another's urine! Making it a human is enough.
I've considered leaving it to my husband to handle, but as a matter of personal growth, I try to avoid avoiding conflicts that I've done before.
DEAR PISSED: You think this is the right time for you to get up and confront someone who does something you don't like.
no. This is the perfect moment to avoid conflict.
Informing this to your "wonderful" father-in-law could be deeply embarrassing for him. Why – oh why – would you choose to do this?
You have already made the connection that fits an infant and an older person has some commonalities. In either case, cleanup after someone who does not have total control over body functions can actually immerse your understanding of the human condition. Yes, cleaning urine is not fun. But yes, it can happen with love – or at least compassion.
Here are your choices: You can ask your husband to talk to his father about his toilet habits: ("Father, we noticed you are missing toilet. Is the lighting in our bathroom bad for you?").
You can also ask your compassionate man to clean up his father so you don't need it.
Of course, your husband must be on the dummy with the baby with you, but perhaps in the times when your father-in-law is with you, you can look up a deal: "I have the baby; you take gramps."
DEAR AMY: I am a 45-year-old divorced woman who is well established in her personal and professional life.
I met a wonderful gentleman (53) divorced and a father of a 15-year-old son with joint custody of ex.
We live approx. one hour away from each other. We see each other once a week. Every other weekend we stay at each other's place. Everything has been good.
We meet well and share many similarities. All my friends who met him like him.
My concern is that it has been over nine months since we started dating, we have been exclusive for a long time, and he has not yet told anyone about me.
I asked him if it is because he is not sure where this relationship is going or if he is embarrassed to be seen by me and suggested that we take a break for a month to see what he expects by me and this relationship. He said he didn't know why he hadn't told anyone.
It makes me really sad, and I don't know what else I should have done.
Secret and Sad
DEAR SECRET: It sounds like you don't have an ex-spouse and teenage child.
The presence of either can inspire a person to want to be in a relationship bubble. Your guy can simply enjoy privacy and independence to keep this relationship private. Before you go away, see if he can communicate more convincingly about his own thinking.