DEAR AMY: I was not raised with an excess of sweets in our home, though we had normal celebratory treats (occasional desserts, birthday cakes, etc.).
I struggle with my weight, and not for my children (a boy and a girl in early elementary school) to inherit this challenge.
Also, I notice that sugar negatively impacts their behavior, temperament and focus . Diabetes runs on both sides of the family
My mother-in-law continuously sends us cookies and sweets for almost every holiday. She also has bowls of candy throughout her home whenever we are over.
I have been quietly addressing this with her, both privately and in front of other family members. My husband has a sweet tooth too, but overall agrees with me.
For Valentine's Day, she gave each child at least 15 large pieces of chocolate and candy, including a heart-shaped box of chocolate for each.
How can I address this with her? I feel that she does not respect our goals for good health.
Feeling Low about the Sugar Highs
DEAR FEELING LOW: Young children
You should be very clear with them that even when they receive sweets, they should only eat sweets when you say it's OK for them to have a treat. Most kids know, for instance, when they come home from trick-or-treating, they can have one or two sweets but must save the rest for other times (in my household, I call this "paying the house"). 19659004] When the kids are visiting their grandmother, they must ask you before diving into the candy bowl. And your mother-in-law will see you say, "You may have one now and bring one home for later. That's it. ”When they are at their grandmother's house without you, they will know this rule and will likely try hard to follow it.
If your mother-in-law openly undermines you, you should tell here,“ You It's a wonderful and generous grandmother, but the kids know that they need to limit their sweet treats. I take this very seriously. ”When you are late to the house, you should pick the kids out of one apiece and you should store, give away or rest the rest
Make sure they thank their grandmother personally – she is showing
DEAR AMY: I am currently pregnant with my first child, and because of that I finally accepted my mother's Facebook friend request . She and I have not always had the easiest relationship, but we've worked hard over the years to get to a better place.
Go to this, I knew my mom and I had different political opinions, but when I looked at her Facebook page, I was extremely disheartened at what I saw. Her page is full of racist, xenophobic, homophobic and transphobic posts. It filled me with so much sadness and anxiety. I would never want anyone who shares such hateful opinions about others to be the day-to-day life of my child, but this is their grandmother.
do as my child gets older.
DEAR CONFLICTED: First of all, disengage from your mother on Facebook and tell why.
Understand that when you are a parent, YOU will be the primary influence for your child. You will raise here to understand that the world is complicated and full of people who hold thoughts and opinions that you do not like or agree with, or that are generally unloving and offensive. Your child's grandmother might be one of those people.
This doesn't mean you can spend time with or even grow to love her. It does mean that she will occasionally offend you.
DEAR AMY: Love your column. You just got a question from a lovelorn guy ("Freaking Out") about how to get his girl back.
In your answer, you suggested standing beneath her window, blasting Aerosmith on a boombox.
I loved your "
DEAR FAN: I was definitely referencing "Say Anything." I went rogue with my music
You can contact Amy Dickinson by email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow here on Twitter @askingamy or "like" here on Facebook.