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Learn from Nancy Pelosi How to handle a gas lighter in your workplace




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Part of a letter sent to President Donald Trump of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Wednesday, January 1

6, 2019 in Washington, Pelosi has asked President Trump to postpone his EU state addresses the nation set for January 29 until the government reopens. (AP Photo / Wayne Partlow) ASSOCIATED PRESS

Gaslighters are commonplace in the workplace. & nbsp; You are seeking to undermine your work , turn your employees or supervisors towards you, check your electronics, constantly demand attention, stay constant, abuse and harass others, do not hold responsible for their behavior, use a "burned land" policy to get what they want. & nbsp; They're nightmares to work with – and sometimes the only solution is to leave your job or file a human resources complaint.

Nancy Pelosi & # 39; s speaker should work with a gas lighter / narcissist – and she gave a brilliant example of how to respite such a difficult person at work. & nbsp; No matter which political fate you have, you most likely have a gas lighter / narcissist at your workplace. Learn from Pelosi's example of how to handle communication with one.

President Donald Trump has allowed the government to close over $ 5 billion to build a wall. & nbsp; Pelosi wrote a letter to President Trump in which he said that as a result of the government's interruption, a security issue would prevent him from presenting the state of the Union. This letter is a good example of how to handle a gas lighter / narcissist at your workplace – or any difficult personality, for that matter. & Nbsp; The full text of the letter can be found here: & nbsp; https://www.speaker.gov/newsroom/11619/

She chose the right medium

Pelosi tweeted not a comment – she wrote a letter and signed it . & Nbsp; This has more weight than a quick missive on social media. & Nbsp; When working with a gas lighter / narcissist, you must document thoroughly, including writing official letters, rather than quick notes. & Nbsp; This gives the case seriously to the gas lighter / narcissist.

She's called his part of the responsibility

Gaslighters / narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. & Nbsp; But you can & nbsp; mention how their behavior has got you to this point – even without mentioning it specifically. & Nbsp; Gas lighters / narcissists have hair-triggering temperament, so standing in direct communication, "you did this behavior" rarely get you anywhere. & Nbsp; But Pelosi mentions the interruption without saying that the president caused it. & Nbsp; If you blame the gas lighter / narcissist directly, he will focus on how "unfair" or "unfair" you are. & Nbsp; If you think so, the gaslighter / narcissist knows what you say – but he is less likely to call it a personal attack because it makes him responsible.

She stated only facts

Pelosi stuck in facts. & Nbsp; & nbsp; She did not indicate how she felt about Trump or the interruption. & Nbsp; The only & nbsp; The sentence in the letter that could be interpreted as emotion was "Unfortunately, as security issues …" Although "unfortunately" seems to be appropriate professional writing in this context rather than an emotionally charged word. & Nbsp; When dealing with a gas lighter / narcissist at work, & nbsp; Your complaint about the facts, especially if you report this behavior to an indicative or human resource. & Nbsp; Gas lighters / narcissists will take any feeling you show or write about and use it against you. & Nbsp; They zero in on emotional vulnerability as a predator rods prey. & Nbsp; If he is confronted with his behavior, the gas lighter / narcissist will try to deflect by making your feelings the center of the argument, rather than their actions. & Nbsp; Leave emotions out as much as possible.

She wrote her borders

Pelosi wrote that she would work with Trump to find "another appropriate date" for the EU address, or "consider delivering your state of & nbsp; Union address in writing to Congress on January 29. "& nbsp; Pelosi gave Trump two clear opportunities. & Nbsp; When working with a gas lighter / narcissist, take control of the situation by giving him a "forced choice" – option A or option B. & nbsp; & nbsp; The gaslighter / narcissist will usually bring their own opportunity to suit them, but is to the detriment of everyone else. & nbsp; Repeat option A or B again. & Nbsp; Repeat if the gas pin tries to immerse. (This is called "broken record" technique.) These are the options. Period. There is no wiggle room.

She brought up history

To reverse her claim of the Union state, Pelosi looked at the story as evidence. & Nbsp; She wrote, "During the 19th century ADN until the Presidency of Woodrow Wilson, these annual EU communications were sent to Congress in writing." & Nbsp; When working with a difficult person, specify the precedent that has been followed to this point. & Nbsp; This can be anything from the company's history, the guidelines in your employee manual or the previously documented behavior of the gas jet / narcissist. & Nbsp; While gas lighters / narcissists claim they will make their way out and throw out the old roads, they are also very careful to want to look good. & Nbsp; This means that they generally pay a lot of attention when they experience past precedents.

She stated her expectations

Pelosi wrote that her expectation was to work together to come up with a new date for the Union state "unless the government reopens this week". & nbsp; Pelosi said what she wanted clear. & Nbsp; When you work with a narcissist, you make clear statements about what behavior you expect from him – and set a timetable.

She knew what would affect him

One of the best ways to motivate a gas lighter / narcissist is to take away their spotlight. In this case, the spotlight meant that Trump could not be seen on each channel under the EU address. & Nbsp; In your workplace, if a gas lighter / narcissist behaves in a manner that is carefree for your business, consider taking them out of the committees where they have a leading role.

She kept it short

Pelosi's letter & nbsp; are only four sections. & nbsp; With a gas lighter / narcissist, it is usually best to stick to your facts and then close your letter. Do not let any "loose ends" come to the gas lighter / narcissist to shine on.

She ended up with a call to action

Pelosi completed the letter stating "] we work together to determine another appropriate date after the government is reopened." She stated her goal and used "we" – the use of "we" can flummox gas lighters / narcissistic personalities because they are used to "I" and "me". & nbsp; They tend not to work together. & Nbsp; So not only Pelosi presented a call to action, she also presented a challenge. & Nbsp; Using "we send" in connection with communication to a gas lighter / narcissist message that they are not the center of attention – you work together as a team effort. & Nbsp; It also communicates that a person is not better than another in a situation. & Nbsp; Gas lighters / narcissists thrive on believing that everyone is running in circles, trying to please them. & Nbsp; Using the word "we transfer" to the gas lighter / narcissist, their sharpness does not result in you spinning the wheels trying to make them happy.

Pelosi may have expected Trump's answer – he quickly interrupted his journey in a letter in return, and continued to tweet about it. & nbsp; This can be expected – gas lighters / narcissists respond to limit values ​​by lashing out. & Nbsp; In fact, the degree of lashing is relative to the effectiveness of your communication. & Nbsp; So in this case it is further evidence Pelosi wrote a great letter. They also take no responsibility for any of the problems described in the original letter you send them. & Nbsp; Pelosi has at this time done exactly what a person should do when a gas lighter goes on the offensive – she is left behind while Trump continues to escalate. & Nbsp; Gas lighters / narcissists usually undermine eventually through their own actions.

& nbsp;

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Part of a letter sent to President Donald Trump of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Wednesday, January 16, 2019 in Washington. Pelosi has asked President Trump to postpone his state for the Union's address to the nation is scheduled for January 29 until the government reopens. (AP Photo / Wayne Partlow) ASSOCIATED PRESS

Gas lighters are commonplace in the workplace, they seek to undermine your work, turn your employees or supervisors towards you, pick in your electronics, constantly demanding attention, staying constant, abusing and harassing others, not taking responsibility for their behavior, using a "burned land" policy to get what they want, they are nightmares to work with – and at times it is only solution to leave your job or complain about human resources.

New Pelosi & chairman has to work with a gas stick / narcissist – and hungry an excellent example of how to respond to such a difficult person at work. No matter which political fate you have, you most likely have a gas lighter / narcissist at your workplace. Learn from Pelosi's example of how to handle communication with one.

President Donald Trump has dismissed the government for $ 5 billion to build a wall. Pelosi wrote a letter to President Trump in which he said that as a result of the government's interruption, a security issue would prevent him from presenting the state of the Union. This letter is a good example of how to handle a gas lighter / narcissist at your workplace – or any difficult personality, for that matter. The full text of the letter can be found here: https://www.speaker.gov/newsroom/11619/

She Chose The Right Medium

Pelosi tweeted no comment – she wrote a letter and signed it . This has more weight than a quick missive on social media. When working with a gas lighter / narcissist, you must document thoroughly, including writing official letters, rather than quick notes. This gives the case seriously to the gas pin / narcissist.

She mentioned her part of the responsibility

Gaslighters / narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. But you can mention how their behavior has got you to this point – even without mentioning it specifically. Gas lighters / narcissists have hair-triggering temperament, so standing in direct communication, "you did this behavior" rarely get you anywhere. But Pelosi mentions the interruption without saying that the president caused it. If you blame gaslighter / narcissist directly, he will focus on how "unfairly" or "unfairly" you are. If you think so, the gaslighter / narcissist knows what you say – but he is less likely to call it a personal attack because it makes him responsible.

She wrote only facts [19659003] Pelosi stuck in facts. She did not indicate how she felt about Trump or the interruption. The only sentence in the letter that could be interpreted as emotions was "unfortunately given the security issues …" Although "unfortunately" appears as appropriate professional writing in this context rather than an emotional word. When dealing with a gas lighter / narcissist at work, support your factual complaint, especially if you report this behavior to a supervisor or human resources. Gas lighters / narcissists will take any emotions you show or write about and use it against you. They zero in on emotional vulnerability as a predator rods prey. If he is confronted with his behavior, the gas lighter / narcissist will try to deflect by making your feelings the center of the argument, rather than their actions. Leave emotions out as much as possible.

She wrote her borders

Pelosi wrote that she would work with Trump to find another appropriate date for the Union address or "consider delivering your EU state in writing to Congress on January 29 . "Pelosi gave Trump two clear opportunities. When working with a gas lighter / narcissist, take control of the situation by giving him a "forced choice" option A or option B. Gas lighter / narcissist will usually come with their own option that suits them but is detrimental for everyone else. Repeat option A or B again. Repeat if the gas pin tries to immerse. (This is called the "broken record" technique.) These are the options. Period. There is no wiggle room.

She Brought Up History

To confirm her claim of the Union state, Pelosi saw the story as evidence. She wrote: "During the 19th century ADN until the Presidency of Woodrow Wilson, these annual EU communications were delivered to Congress in writing." When working with a difficult person, specify the precedent that has been followed to this point. This can be anything from your company's history, the guidelines in your employee manual or the previously documented behavior of the gas jet / narcissist. While gas lighters / narcissists claim to do things their way and throw out the old roads, they are also very aware of wanting to look good. This means that they generally pay a lot of attention when they experience past precedents.

She stated her expectations

Pelosi wrote that her expectation was to work together to come up with a new date for the Union state "unless the government reopens this week". Pelosi said what she wanted clear. When you work with a narcissist, you make clear statements about what behavior you expect from him – and set a timetable.

She knew what would affect him

One of the best ways to motivate a gas jet / Narcissist is to take away their spotlight. In this case, the spotlight meant that Trump could not be seen on all channels under the EU address. In your workplace, if a gas lighter / narcissist behaves in a manner that is carefree for your business, consider taking them out of the committees where they have a leading role.

She kept it short

Pelosi's letter is only four paragraphs. With a gas lighter / narcissist, it is usually best to stick to your facts and then close your letter.

She ended up with a call to action

Pelosi concluded the letter that "we work together to determine another appropriate date after the government reopened." She stated her purpose and used "we "- The use of" We "can flummox gas lighters / narcissistic personalities because they are used to" I "and" Me ". They tend not to work together. So not only Pelosi presented a call to action, she also presented a challenge. Using "we" in communicating to a gas lighter / narcissist sends the message that they are not the center of attention – you work together as a team effort. It also communicates that a person is not better than another in a situation. Gas lighters / narcissists enjoy believing that everyone is running in circles and trying to please them. Using the word "we" transmits to the gas lighter / narcissist, their inconsistency does not result in you spinning your wheels trying to make them happy.

Pelosi may have expected Trump's answer – he quickly interrupted his journey in a letter in return, and has continued to talk about it. This can be expected – gas lighters / narcissists respond to limit values ​​by lashing out. In fact, the degree of lashing is relative to the effectiveness of your communication. So in this case it is further evidence Pelosi wrote a great letter. They also take no responsibility for any of the problems described in the original letter you send them. At this point, Pelosi has done exactly what someone should do when a gas starter goes on the offensive – she's left while Trump continues to escalate. Gas lighters / narcissists usually undermine eventually through their own actions.


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