Being known as the guy who was married to Kim Kardashian for 72 days was Kris Humphrey's personal version of hell.
"I wouldn't be Kris Humphries. It's the craziest feeling in the world that doesn't want to be yourself," explains veteran NBA in detail in The Players Tribune, released Tuesday.
"And I wouldn't even say anything to defend myself because it felt like I couldn't win. You can't go against tabloids. You can't go up against that machine. I played this game, I felt like it would be disrespectful for basketball. "
Humphries, 34, suggested to Kardashian, 38, in May 2011 after about seven months of dating. The couple's August wedding was documented for E! cameras as part of a two-part television special, as well as their transition as newlyweds in "Keeping up with the Kardashians" spinoff, "Kourtney and Kim Take New York." Kardashian filed for divorce from Humphries in October that year, although it would not be completed until 201
"Look, I should have known what I was entering. I was definitely naive about how much my life would change But the only thing that really bothers me is when people say my marriage was fake, "he explained.
] "There is absolutely a lot about the world that isn't quite right. But our actuality was 100 percent real. When it was clear that it didn't work … what can I say? It sucked. "
Humphries added that" it's never easy to go through embarrassment of something like that – With your friends, with your family … But when it plays so publicly, in front of the world, it's a completely different level. It was brutal. "
Humphries, who played for eight teams in a 13-year career , recalled for a moment especially after being relentlessly booed in Philadelphia.
"I thought of myself:" Why do they settle for me, though? Is it just because I'm the guy from TV? Do they think I was trying to be famous? Is it because they think I respected the game of basketball? "Humphries asked.
"The last one killed me because everything I ever wanted to be known for was basketball."
Humphries was in a dark place for about a year dealing with "very anxiety, especially in crowds."
"I didn't want to leave my home. You want … I don't know … the whole world hates you, but they don't even know why. They don't even know you. They just recognize your face, and they are on you, "he shared.
Humphries circles his inner circle to get him through the trying times.
"Honestly, the game was the only thing that got me through it. The game and my family," he said.
As for Kardashian, who married Kanye West in 2014, she said she was married to Humphries because she was 30.
"At that time … I was just thinking," Holy s, I am 30 years old, I get better together. I get better married, "Kardashian said at" Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen "back in 2017.