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Dear Abby: When he is willing to adopt, he changes his mind, disturbing wife

Dear ABBY: When I first started dating my girlfriend seven years ago, I told him that I would once adopt a child. He said he would like his own children first, but the adoption would be "cool".

We now have two children, 5 and 3, and I'm ready to adopt. We can financially support another child and we both have good careers.

When I recently mentioned adoption to him, he said that he has changed and will not adopt. He says because we have our own children, he would not have the adopted baby to feel like the "strange out."

Is it something to end an otherwise happy marriage over? Or should I give it another shot and maybe hope he will adopt? I've wanted to do this since I was a little girl, and that's important to me. ̵


DEAR PRO-ADOPTION: You and your husband may need professional mediation to reach an agreement that will work for you both. Bringing a child who needs a loving family into your home can be controlled if everyone is on the same side with it – including your biological children.

Your husband may not have another child's responsibility because he has experienced parents twice and knows how much is involved in raising them, but the reason he did not give me so much.

Having said that, your husband leaves no guarantee that you would be able to adopt a child alone. There may be other options for you to help children wait for adoption – including promotion, mentoring, or volunteering with the Big Brother's Big Sisters program.

Dear ABBY: I read your column daily and notice that you often suggest readers consult a "nutrition expert" to help with healthy eating, weight loss, etc.

I have been a registered nurse for nearly 50 years, and I would like to point out that the professional must be consulted on nutrition is a registered dietitian. A registered dietitian has a college degree and usually a higher degree, and teaches the American Dietetic Association's nutritional standard. This is an important distinction.

A nutrition expert can be anyone who says they are one. Registered dieticians do not promote a healthy diet and learn proper eating. This is especially important for people with medical diagnoses, such as. Diabetes or heart disease. But teaching is for anyone who wants information about healthy eating to maintain good health throughout their lives.

Some dietitians have private offices, but if your readers can't find one, they should ask their primary doctor so he / she can refer them to one. Or call the nutrition department at their local hospital, as there are often classes that can attend the hospital. – NURSE, who knows in MASSACHUSETTS

Dear NURSE: Thank you for taking the time to share this information with my readers. Healthy diet is the basis for a healthy life.

Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Good advice for all – teenagers for seniors – is in "The anger of all of us and how to deal with it." To order, send your name and your postal address, plus check or money order for $ 8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling included in the price.)

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